Saturday, October 22, 2016

Hocus Pocus (1993)

A few years ago, I was surprised to see an article listing many reasons that this was the #1 Halloween flick. I hadn't even heard about it since I saw the trailer in a theater. Besides, it had a middling rating on IMDb and a green splat on Rotten Tomatoes. But after encountering multiple citations of the haunting pseudo-lullaby "Come, Little Children," and simply not having a lot of Halloween-type movies on my Netflix queue, I decided to give it a try.

After a setup conveniently set exactly 300 years before the rest of the movie, we see teen Max (Omri Katz) missing L.A. now that he's moved to bully-infested Salem. His bratty but ultimately likable sister, Dani (Thora Birch), strong-arms him into accompanying her for trick-or-treating. When he sees an opportunity to get closer to his crush, Allison (Vinessa Shaw), the three of them break into an abandoned museum that had been the home of the Sanderson sisters -- Winnifred (Bette Midler), Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker), and Mary (Kathy Najimy) -- before they were hanged for murderous witchcraft. Max doubts the folklore until after he follows instructions to revive the weird trio. The young heroes must prevent them from draining the life force from any kids before the resurrection spell wears off at dawn. Their only ally is Thackery, a former teen interloper cursed to eternal life as a black cat.

The filmmakers did no homework with regard to the calendar. First of all, the Salem witch trials concluded months before October 31, 1693. Second, there was no full moon on Halloween of 1993 or any nearby year. Third, Halloween fell on a Sunday that year, so we shouldn't have seen a class in session. The last fact must have been especially obvious when this movie premiered.

Not that the characters show much in the way of smarts either. Winnie's the only witch with any brains, and as is common for villains in family entertainment, she's unkind to her companions. When she summons the ex-boyfriend she killed (Doug Jones, in heavy makeup as always), it doesn't occur to her that he might have a reason not to do her bidding. In case you're wondering, Sarah provides her value in bewitching song, and the animalistic Mary does best at sniffing out prey.

Don't get me wrong: They're still the highlight. The vamps can't help but be the center of attention wherever they go, especially Winnie, who was Midler's favorite role. OK, even if she didn't ham it up, it'd be hard to look away from her between attire and ugliness. (Funny how other characters run the gamut from dismissing all three as ugly to courting them right away. Maybe the latter looked at Sarah first.)

It's definitely more comedy than horror. Part of this comes from the on-and-off culture shock upon waking after 300 years: The "thou"-sayers see an asphalt road as a dangerous river of black. (They still somehow learn the tune and lyrics to "I Put a Spell on You" in no time.) Some humor gets pretty racy, as was almost inevitable from the spellbook specifying a virgin. There's even a scene with the late Garry Marshall and Sarah Marshall, the former dressed as a devil, prompting the trio to call, "Master!"

That said, you might be surprised at a Disney feature starting off with a little girl dying. It's by magic, so nothing graphically violent, but still. Of course, I've come to realize that viewers under a certain age take these things in stride a little better than viewers old enough to find them cute.

Speaking of cute, you may be wondering about Thackery. His mouth is well animated for the time. Unfortunately, he's not half as much fun as Sabrina's Salem. Nor does it make much sense for him to start talking only after the witches return. I could understand him failing to communicate when the curse was brand new -- it'd take some practice with his feline shape -- but when he's trying to stop Max from following the instructions? Then there's the unfortunate nature of the curse: You know that he'll either live unhappily forever as a cat...or die as a cat. Neither option appeals to the audience.

Well, it wouldn't be Disney if it didn't aim for the heartstrings now and then. I won't tell you when, but you should be able to see a lot of key moments a mile away. Hopefully, that won't ruin them for you.

Best Halloween fare? Far from it. But compared to the bulk of contemporary non-animated Disney fare, it's pretty good.

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