The Longest Yard (1974)

Long-time readers know I'm not big on sports flicks. Football appeals to me even less than most sports. Offhand, the only fully serious football movie I've seen is Rudy; the rest are at least partly comedic. But this one has Robert Aldrich at the helm, and I like the other four films of his that I've seen, so I gave it a try.

Paul "Wrecking" Crewe (Burt Reynolds) was an esteemed pro quarterback until he took a dive. Now a drunken burnout, he commits several crimes in rapid succession and goes to prison. As it happens, warden Rudolph Hazen (Eddie Albert) cares inordinately about football, particularly as it concerns his guards' underperforming semi-pro team. He and Captain Knauer (Ed Lauter) coerce Crewe to assemble a team of inmates, the idea being that victory against the inmates will pave the way for a championship. But for all the trouble he has finding decent talent, Crewe might just want his team to win for the sake of hurting and embarrassing the prison staff.

I Killed My Mother (2009)

No, it's not a new take on Psycho or Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. There is no literal death in this Quebecois drama based largely on the life of director, writer, and lead actor Xavier Dolan. Instead, 16-year-old protagonist Hubert tells a teacher that his divorced mom, Chantale, is dead so that he won't have to bring her into a presentation. It suggests that he half-wishes she'd die for real.

Netflix mentions in the first sentence of its summary that Hubert is gay. While that does have some importance to the plot, it is far from central to the main conflict. Hubert and Chantale lock horns quite enough before she has any idea of his orientation. When she finds out about his squeeze Antonin, she gets disappointed primarily because Hubert didn't trust her enough to tell her. She shouldn't be surprised, tho; pretty much the only time he welcomes her into his life is when he wants a ride to school, and even then he gets angry.

The Cider House Rules (1999)

I had expected not to write this review. It's not that I don't care strongly about this movie. It just features an extremely controversial subject that may very well make or break your opinion of and/or desire to watch it, and I'd hate to ostracize a good chunk of my readership by indicating my own position. Maybe that's why I never heard anyone talk about the movie outside the context of the 71st Annual Academy Awards. Still, it got me thinking, and those who haven't seen it ought to make an informed decision.

Based on a John Irving book, the story follows one Homer Wells from his infancy in a rural Maine orphanage to his young adulthood (when he's played by Tobey Maguire), ending shortly after World War II. He never gets adopted or formally educated, instead becoming an unofficial apprentice to orphanage director Wilbur Larch (Michael Caine), who also serves as an obstetrician -- and abortionist. Tired of this claustrophobic life, he leaves with two friendly customers, Wally (Paul Rudd) and Candy (Charlize Theron), who help him gain employment as the only White laborer at a cider house. When Wally goes off to war, Candy strays toward Homer. But Dr. Larch won't accept that Homer will stay away for good.

Ready Player One (2018)

Despite Steven Spielberg at the helm, my dad watched the preview and decided he'd probably skip this. He enjoyed Wreck-It Ralph, but that more clearly had something for the non-gamers, if only lush animation. His decision had nothing to do with the Ernest Cline book haters' backlash that predated RPO's release. Me, I recalled that even popular books can become middling Spielberg fare, but I still wanted to give it a try in a theater.

The year is 2045. The physical place is Columbus, Ohio, shabby home to teen Wade and evil megacorporation IOI. The virtual place, where the camera goes more than half the time, is a network of simulated worlds called the OASIS. Five years ago, the main creator of the OASIS died and left a message that his unprecedented filthy riches would go to whoever found the Easter egg. Most of the searchers outside of IOI have given up, but not Wade and his online buddies. His luck starts to change when he virtually meets and crushes on the legendary "Art3mis," who drops helpful hints. It's not immediately known what game she's playing; she claims to give the highest priority to depriving IOI President Sorrento of the grand prize, but main Wade companion Aech thinks she (or he) is just using Wade to a less noble end.

Fourteen Hours (1951)

This is the first movie I know to lie about lying. Specifically, it begins with a disclaimer that any resemblance to real events is purely coincidental, yet all my sources indicate inspiration from a real event in the '30s. I still won't use the "true story" tag due to fundamental differences, including the resolution and the stated length of time.

On a warm St. Patrick's Day morning, a 20-something man (Richard Basehart) steps onto the ledge outside his 15th-floor New York City hotel room. Traffic cop Charlie Dunnigan (Paul Douglas) reports this and then goes up to have a few words with the potential jumper, eventually identified as Robert Cosick, before the pros show up. Oddly enough, Robert doesn't want to hear from anyone but Charlie at that point -- something about the officer's rough, relatively earnest air, I suppose. Of course, as the title implies, Robert takes quite a while to make up his mind.

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (1967)

Have you ever checked out a movie or play without knowing in advance that it was a musical? Now I have. Good thing I don't mind the upbeat, sporadically sung old-school variety.

The title does indeed refer to a book -- facetious in reality but treated as genuinely helpful herein. New York window washer J. Pierpont "Ponty" Finch (Robert Morse, looking remarkably like Jerry Lewis) picks it up and wastes no time getting a foot in the door of the nearest large yet ill-run corporation, the MacGuffin-producing World-Wide Wicket Company. He then wastes no time wheedling and fibbing his way up the ladder. His main obstacles: the jealous nephew (Anthony Teague) of the CEO (Rudy Vallee), the occasional competently savvy suit, the affections of scrupulous secretary Rosemary (Michele Lee), and the affections of temptress secretary Hedy (Maureen Arthur).

Dolores Claiborne (1995)

Of the nine movies I've seen based on Stephen King stories, Misery is in my personal top two. When I learned that Kathy Bates had starred in another King adaptation five years later, I took interest.

As is common for King, the action occurs primarily in backwater Maine. Selena St. George (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a young reporter in New York, gets wind that her mother, Dolores, is the prime suspect in the violent death of Vera (Judy Parfitt), a wealthy yet stingy, fussy old curmudgeon who hired her as a maid. Selena and Dolores have been out of touch for so long that Dolores does not recognize her daughter by sight, but Selena sticks around because she doesn't share her mom's seeming confidence in an acquittal, not least because the lead detective (Christopher Plummer) thinks Dolores got away with murder 20 years ago -- that of her abusive husband (David Strathairn). Between numerous flashbacks and reports, we and Selena gradually learn which allegations are true and which aren't.