Tuesday, April 24, 2018

I Killed My Mother (2009)

No, it's not a new take on Psycho or Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. There is no literal death in this Quebecois drama based largely on the life of director, writer, and lead actor Xavier Dolan. Instead, 16-year-old protagonist Hubert tells a teacher that his divorced mom, Chantale, is dead so that he won't have to bring her into a presentation. It suggests that he half-wishes she'd die for real.

Netflix mentions in the first sentence of its summary that Hubert is gay. While that does have some importance to the plot, it is far from central to the main conflict. Hubert and Chantale lock horns quite enough before she has any idea of his orientation. When she finds out about his squeeze Antonin, she gets disappointed primarily because Hubert didn't trust her enough to tell her. She shouldn't be surprised, tho; pretty much the only time he welcomes her into his life is when he wants a ride to school, and even then he gets angry.

I couldn't help but think of Lady Bird for a bit. Once again, both sides are to blame for the tension between mother and child. Chantale does have some bad habits, from unsafe driving practices to humiliating public yells, in addition to merely obnoxious qualities like questionable taste in clothes. Hubert accuses her repeatedly of having early-onset Alzheimer's. She may even qualify as mildly emotionally abusive via guilt tripping and manipulation. But add up all her negative behaviors that we know of and the sum still doesn't justify his degree of open hostility toward the one parent who didn't walk out on him when he was seven. He says he can't imagine a worse mom, but it's not like she physically abuses or neglects him. Sometimes she advises him to survey his classmates to learn how normal she is and/or how unusual he is, but of course he refuses.

Hubert wants to move into an apartment, using his grandma's money to pay the rent. Chantale won't let him before age 18, but he doesn't think he can last more than another year with her. Sometimes he hangs with a rule-bending sympathetic teacher, supposedly not as a runaway but to take a break. The plot thickens when Chantale and her visiting ex send Hubert to a Catholic boarding school, which, while decreasing their interactions, pisses him off for also decreasing his interactions with Antonin and other elements he'll miss. Is the bond between Hubert and Antonin strong enough that they won't stray from each other?

This being an unrated, non-American film, you might worry about the sexual content. Well, there is a gay sex scene, but it's on fast-forward and shown only from the waists up. In context, it's pretty interesting in a non-pornographic way.

The structured plot does not preclude a fairly episodic feel, which makes sense for a semi-autobiography. In between many scenes are Hubert's black-and-white home videos, in which he soliloquizes about his relationship with Chantale and how it compares to his peers' situations. Clearly, he wishes he could love her as consistently as they love their mothers, and I think he knows that she loves him. Might I say, tho, that if he believes that anyone who calls it a sin to hate one's mother is a hypocrite because everyone does at least for a second, then he has a bit to learn.

It occurs to me that Hubert's homosexuality might have an indirect part in why he's unusually unforgiving of Chantale. Sixteen is not an age conducive to mental health in the first place, and when one of your greatest desires is widely condemned, you have all the more anxiety. There is little evidence of Hubert having friends who aren't boyfriends. He spends much of his leisure time stoned, which may provide temporary stress relief but doesn't prepare him for the inevitable return to reality. Under the circumstances, I figure I wouldn't have a lot of patience for a frequent companion who didn't have much in common with me.

IKMM ends on a hopeful note after a hard ride. I think it's effective enough for what it is. See it if you're in the mood to watch somewhat repetitive bickering in French with a potential for emotional payoff.

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