Mean Girls (2004)

That's right, the original, not the musical currently in theaters. I had no desire to see it when it debuted, but people have continued to make references to it. Then I put it on my Netflix list and kept passing it over. What finally persuaded me? A limited DVD selection at the Red Cross while I gave platelets. (That unit was having technical difficulties with streaming.)

Cady (Lindsay Lohan) has been homeschooled up until age 16, leaving her good at grades but naive about the social environment at her new high school. Her first friends are outcasts, Janis (Lizzy Caplan) and Damian (Daniel Franzese), who warn her about the elitist clique known as the Plastics, especially leader Regina (Rachel McAdams), Janis's former friend. Nevertheless, when the Plastics invite Cady to join, she doesn't resist. Janis sees this as a golden opportunity to learn dirt on them and possibly engineer revenge. Cady agrees after discovering how bad Regina is -- and then comes dangerously close to becoming just like her.

Other characters worth mentioning individually? Gretchen (Lacey Chabert) is the arguable beta of the Plastics, a Jewish heiress who's nonetheless socially insecure. Karen (Amanda Seyfried), though slow and prone to malapropisms, is about as close as the Plastics allow each other to come to genuine sweetness. Aaron (Jonathan Bennett) immediately becomes Cady's crush, before she learns that he used to date Regina; Cady even feigns math ignorance for Aaron's attention. Kevin (Rajiv Surendra) wants Cady to join the Mathletes, despite what that would do to her street cred.

Lorne Michaels produced this movie, and I count four Saturday Night Live veterans (Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Tim Meadows, and Ana Gasteyer) among the somewhat overshadowed adults not playing teens. This would explain why it's about as big on LGBT themes as mid-2000s SNL. Damian is openly gay and sometimes played for laughs as such. Janis is accused of being a lesbian, but she seems to welcome the attention of a boy eventually. I think that modern U.S. secular high schoolers aren't so likely to treat sexual orientation as a cause for shame. Yet another comedy that didn't take long to feel dated.

It's certainly shallow, no matter how much it emphasizes Cady's math skills. For one thing, she repeatedly says that she spent 12 years in "Africa." Having been to Kenya and Uganda, I'm annoyed that she never gets more specific. Not that any of the gags really make fun of Africa; the point is to make her even more of a fish out of water, however little it matters (she does speak with a fully American accent). There are also multiple references to Asian American cliques, but again, while they are involved in humor, to call it racist would be a stretch. I'll refrain from adding the "racial" tag.

Fortunately, what MG may lack in laughs, it makes up for in heart. Like Heathers, it cautions that we can all be jerks, and those who don't see themselves that way are among the worst. Unlike Heathers, it notes that we don't have to be, even if we already have been. Nobody herein commits or attempts murder or suicide.

I also find these mean girls a lot more credible. They at least pretend to be nice; their cruelty is stealthier. And they aren't constantly POed.

If there's one disadvantage, it's in distinction: Heathers continues to feel quite singular, whereas MG is relatively run-of-the-mill. But maybe that's because, for all its accolades, there hasn't been much demand for another Heathers. We're more often in the mood for lighter, more relatable comedies. To that end, MG is OK by me.