Barbie (2023)

I was reluctant to try something so polarizing. If nothing else, I figured that seeing the largest amount of pink outside of a nudist community would sicken me. But on a tiny airplane-back screen, that's not so risky.

Here we see Barbieland, home to live humanoids who mostly go by "Barbie" and "Ken," who come into existence as Mattel makes their corresponding doll models, and who change based on how the dolls are played with. The focal characters are Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie) and Beach Ken (Ryan Gosling), whom I'll call SB and BK for simplicity. SB starts to develop realistic flaws nearly unheard of in Barbieland, so she travels to real-world L.A., where Mattel is headquartered, in search of a solution. BK tags along and discovers that Barbieland could become a lot more fun for the men -- at the cost of the women. He returns before SB does....

OK, with such a star-studded cast, I should mention more supporting characters. America Ferrera plays Gloria, the Mattel employee who inadvertently alters SB. Will Ferrell plays the Mattel CEO, because playing President Business in another toy-based comedy wasn't enough. Rhea Perlman plays the ghost of Barbie's creator. Other Barbie actresses include Issa Rae and Dua Lipa; other Ken actors include Simu Liu and John Cena. Michael Cera plays the only Allan in Barbieland, feeling feckless. Helen Mirren narrates occasionally.

On a personal note, I used to control Ken back when my sister had a Barbie collection. I often made him act weird and sometimes contrary to the others, but he never became as antagonistic as herein. I prefer the half-villain Ken from Toy Story 3; at least he and Barbie had chemistry.

At no point does any character contemplate an egalitarian Barbieland; the designated happy ending involves a slight decrease in disparity, with no promise even of residences for the men. Viewers are divided on whether the movie is feminist or stealthily anti-feminist. I think it's some of each: Both the matriarchs and the partiarchs look ludicrous.

Really, the whole thing is ludicrous. Much of the humor involves the Pleasantville-like inorganic paradise followed by Enchanted-like fish-out-of-water antics. The Mattel leadership, while alarmed to know that SB has entered reality, show no surprise that she exists as such. Basically no questions of how and why are ever answered, including how BK changes Barbieland so much in such a short time. The filmmakers' politics are almost immaterial amid such lunacy.

Kinda surprised Mattel signed off on this script when it degrades the company half the time. Barbieland is decidedly modern in its attempts at diversity and respectable jobs, but teen girls blame Barbie for various ills in the world, and Barbie never refutes the accusations. The movie also acknowledges that Mattel has had terribly few female executives over the decades. Negativity can bolster comedy, but what viewers feel more of an urge to buy the merchandise? Not that young children are likely to get much from PG-13 material. (SB explicitly says she has no vagina?)

If not for the Barbenheimer fad, I'm sure the Academy would not have nominated this movie for anything except Best Original Song. Taken on its own, it's pretty funny (when Ferrell isn't on screen) but too sloppy to be intelligent. I don't hate it as I feared, but I hesitate to recommend it.