My Dinner with Andre (1981)

I knew very well that this might bore the heck out of me. It is little more than two men talking over dinner, after all. And some haters quip that it's not even that. But a 7.8 on IMDb and 91% on Rotten Tomatoes are nothing to sneeze at, and I've appreciated some films with few characters and/or minimal action, so I braced myself and went ahead.

It helps that there is some semblance of conflict. As Wally (Wallace Shawn, not as himself) says in the opening narration, he's been avoiding formerly close theater comrade Andre (Andre Gregory, also not as himself) for some time, after Andre suddenly left for a long journey of exploration. At their half-reluctant restaurant meeting, Wally decides to ask a few questions and let Andre do most of the talking. Only when the 110 minutes are more than half over does Wally start saying more than two sentences in a row. To say he's finally comfortable is a stretch, but at least his grievance is no longer with Andre himself.

Is the conversation/set of monologues interesting? Well, probably more so than if I listened to two random strangers in reality for that long. Andre has done some unusual activities (too bad we don't get to see them) and brings up moderately unusual topics of philosophy. I do not share the oft-stated opinion that's it's pseudo-intellectual. If anything, I find the direct discussion of points a minor relief from all those art films that seem to equate "depth" with not saying stuff outright.

But no matter how intelligent the words, the inescapable truth remains that cinema is not the most fitting medium for this piece of work. I wouldn't even recommend making a stage play out of it. Maybe a radio play or...whatever you call plays that are meant to be read, not performed. The only visual interest comes from the waiter, who does quirky movements with his distinctive eyebrows, suggesting that the men are committing faux pas by fancy restaurant standards. Halfway through, I decided to do something else while listening. I'd hate to have sat in a theater for it.

On a shallow note, if I'm going to be watching just two guys talking, listening, eating, and drinking for nearly two hours, I'd much prefer that neither of them was Wallace Shawn. There's a reason someone with his talent seldom headlines movies: He neither looks nor sounds handsome. That said, I perked up when he used the word "inconceivable" -- correctly.

In comparison, Andre wears his middle age pretty well. His voice reminds me of Michael Douglas, which would generally be a good thing. Unfortunately, it doesn't change much with emotion and is pretty sedate.

Netflix describes the movie as varying from "hilarious" to "heartbreaking." I'm afraid both adjectives are overstatements. The characters never act more than mildly amused or mildly peeved. The philosophy, while rather important in scope, could stand to be delivered with a little more flair -- maybe even offensively -- for our wake-up call.

If you think you're up for MDwA, I'd say go ahead and "watch" it, but don't literally watch it. And make sure you're not already sleepy.