The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

Man, I'd last seen a Hobbit movie before I started this blog more than a decade ago. The threequel was reputed to be the weakest link in a pale imitation of The Lord of the Rings, hence my lack of hurry to see it. Nonetheless, it looked like the most promising DVD I hadn't watched in my local library, having better ratings from general audiences than from critics.

The Desolation of Smaug ends with halfling Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) accidentally inspiring the titular event. Not long into TBotFA, human archer Bard (Luke Evans) slays the rampaging Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch), but that's not the end of the dragon's evil influence. One of Bilbo's dwarven companions, King Thorin (Richard Armitage), finds Smaug's trove almost as corruptive as the One Ring and refuses to share any of it with the humans of newly burned Lake-town, despite his prior oath and their obvious need. When elven King Thranduil (Lee Pace) comes with an army to claim a family treasure, Thorin is undaunted, and the other dwarves obediently prepare to fight. Perhaps fortunately, before the first casualty, the arrival of two armies of darkness induces the other three to team up.

Frankenstein (2025)

When I learned that I hadn't seen any of the Academy Best Picture nominees for the year, I chose the first one I could find. Ordinarily, I save arguable horror movies for October. I say "arguable" because Wikipedia characterizes it as "Gothic science fiction drama." That's fair enough.

The movie begins near the end, when 19th-century Danish sailors find a nearly dead Victor Frankenstein (Oscar Isaac) in the Arctic and try to protect him from his raging creation (Jacob Elordi). In the captain's cabin, Victor tells Captain Andersen (Lars Mikkelsen) the first half of the story. Then the creature shows up and takes the narration from there. In the small chance you don't know the gist, Victor stitched together parts from different corpses and brought the gestalt to life but didn't raise him properly, leaving him put upon by society and violently resentful.

Nightmare Alley (2021)

I had already heard of a 1947 film noir of the same title. This Guillermo del Toro project isn't a remake so much as a second adaptation of the novel. Alas, the original is more highly rated across sites yet much harder to find. Anyway, this is the only version that was nominated for Best Picture.

In 1939, shortly after covering up a murder, Stan (Bradley Cooper) finds work that will have no one inquiring into his background: a traveling carnival's barker. There he learns how to fake being a psychic, and he and stunt-performing girlfriend Molly (Rooney Mara) eventually leave for a classier venue. He then takes an unfaithful interest in a distinguished audience member, psychologist Lilith (Cate Blanchett), and asks her for confidential information that can help him fool a rich, widowed, somewhat unhinged ex-client of hers, Ezra (Richard Jenkins). Stan does not care about Molly's discomfort with his endeavors, nor does he heed the warning of his mentors (Toni Collette and David Strathairn) that moving from mind reading to seances is dangerous -- or Lilith's warning that Ezra is.

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022)

Yes, it was necessary to provide the director's name in the title. This same year saw a mostly live-action Disney remake. There's also Pinocchio: A True Story, which is officially dated 2021 but keeps getting counted with the others. Since del Toro's version is easily the most popular, I invited a friend to watch it with me.

The first distinctive thing about this retelling of the Carlo Collodi story is that it's set in World War II, with a brief appearance by Benito Mussolini (Tom Kenny, who also voiced Gepetto in P:ATS). Here, carpenter Gepetto (David Bradley) drunkenly creates a rather crude, asymmetrical pinewood puppet to replace his war casualty son, Carlo (Gregory Mann, whose voice had to be digitally altered as it changed during production). The fervency of Gepetto's desire persuades a wood sprite (Tilda Swinton) to infuse life in the puppet. Gepetto is initially scared and then frustrated that Pinocchio is nowhere near as ruly or considerate as Carlo (despite the same voice), but his care for Pinocchio is clear when cold-hearted men, namely Count Volpe the ringmaster (Christoph Waltz) and a fascist official (Ron Perlman), want to employ the puppet's unique advantages.

The Shape of Water (2017)

I could tell from the preview that this would be...distinctive. Not necessarily smart or enjoyable, but surely interesting. I might've figured as much just from the title -- or the credit to Guillermo del Toro; even his schlockier efforts keep me engaged. To my slight surprise, both parents joined me and the Meetup group to see it.

In 1962, mute but hearing Elisa (Sally Hawkins) is a custodian at a U.S. government facility that starts housing a sensitive secret: an unnamed amphibious biped (Doug Jones, of course) reminiscent of the Creature from the Black Lagoon. He's dangerous to those he deems enemies, but Elisa senses a kindred spirit and treats him nicely, unlike the people in charge, particularly Col. Strickland (Michael Shannon). She resolves to free her friend/incipient lover before anyone can (a) vivisect him for knowledge that may help in the Cold War or (b) kill him, as Soviet agents hope to do first, tho their inside man (Michael Stuhlbarg) is too science-minded to approve.

The Book of Life (2014)

No, the title has nothing to do with the biblical use of the term. In fact, it relies heavily on Mayan mythology. Since I'd forgotten that Mexico's Day of the Dead actually lasts three days, I am in no position to evaluate the authenticity of the traditions depicted herein, but that matters little in an animated comedy.

We get a story within a story as a museum tour guide (Christina Applegate) tells a group of kids -- far more rapt than their early misbehavior would portend -- one legend straight out of the allegedly comprehensive Book of Life. Set in an ambiguous post-Columbian era, it concerns two gods wagering on human love. If María (Zoe Saldana) marries Joaquin (Channing Tatum), popular son of a war hero, then Xibalba (Ron Perlman), god of the hellish Land of the Forgotten, gets to swap places with La Muerte (Kate del Castillo), goddess of the much more pleasant Land of the Remembered. If María marries Joaquin's friend Manolo (Diego Luna), an aspiring mariachi whose father pushes him to be a matador, then Xibalba has to stop intervening in the realm of the living. Both boys/men do awesome things with their divine blessings over the years, but neither has the advantage in María's heart for very long; the main change is in how they feel about each other. At no point does either god fear that she'll marry neither, though.

As you might have guessed, Xibalba is the nastier god, though not nasty enough to make an outright villain out of his champion. Due to some unfair moves on Xibalba's part, Manolo dies about halfway through the movie. But Manolo strives to return to life, not just for María's sake but to help save their hometown from the true main villain, Chakal (Dan Navarro), a bandit leader too dangerous even for Joaquin. This being the Day of the Dead, the separation between life and death is more negotiable than usual....